Road Trip!

The journey of a thousand miles begins with 1 step.

I am reflecting on the recent road trip that I just finished taking with my wife and pug to Virginia Beach. The trip was long; at times frustrating but the memories will last forever (the good and the bad). As I was reflecting on the trip it hit me that life is a long journey that is filled with multiple journeys along the way. So I’ll share two things that I learned.

I learned that the journey can take longer than expected. The directions to Virginia Beach said 12 ½ hours (I don’t trust Yahoo anymore). I figured about 13 ½ hours (I don’t trust me in regards to timing a trip anymore). It took 16 hours. Sometimes the journey takes longer than planned. For instance I planned on finishing my master’s degree in 3 years. It took 4 years but at least I am finishing. It may take longer to get where you want to be but don’t quit.

But also don’t be in such a rush that you forget to take in the scenes along the way. I will graduate with my master’s degree in May. The diploma is a piece of paper to show I completed my studies but it is so much more than that. It is a reminder of the journey that I took and the things that happened during the journey. It is about the lessons I learned, the books I read, the people that I met, that made the journey fun. It is about trying new things and doing things that you never thought you could. For example, I am finishing my thesis which will be over 40 pages long. I never thought I could write more than 15 pages but I surprised myself and realized that I am capable of more than I thought. These and other things have made the experience unique but it has also shaped me into who I am today. The journey is what makes us who we are.

I also learned that sometimes you go the wrong way. This should come to no surprise to those who know I am directionally challenged. I missed the turnoff (which I blame on bad directions) which probably added 1 hour to the trip. It didn’t mean that the trip was over. It just meant that I needed to figure out how to get back to where I needed to go and complete the trip. We did get back to where we needed to be but it also allowed us to go through small towns that we would have never seen otherwise. We drove past the small diners in town where people gathered for breakfast. We imagined what it must be like to live there (and wondered where the grocery stores were). They were things we would have missed if we didn’t go off course.

Sometimes in life we get off course. It’s not because we want to. Sometimes it is because of our choices. Other times it is because of circumstances that are out of control. Whatever the reason may be it does not mean that you’ll never get to the end destination of the journey. It might take longer. It might be painful. It may add value to your life. Joseph of the Old Testament experienced this in his life. He had a dream that took many twists and turns but at the end of his life he said about what had happened to him “but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Genesis 50:12). It doesn’t mean that God does bad things so that we can learn a lesson. We live in a world where evil exists. I don’t know how God redeems situations that are bad but he can. And the good news is that He can help you get back on the path.

Life is a journey. Don’t be in such a rush that you miss what happens along the way.

Don't Give Up, Don't Ever Give Up

One of the greatest speeches I have ever heard was given by Jim Valvano at the 1993 ESPY Award show. If you ever get a chance to listen to the speech or read it I would encourage you to do so. It still gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it. Valvano may be famous as the coach at N.C. State when they pulled off the greatest upset in college basketball and won the 1983 NCAA title game. Each year ESPN does a Jimmy V week to raise support for the Jimmy V Foundation. Their motto, which he mentioned during his ESPY speech, is this: “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.”

As I look back at this four year journey to get my master’s degree one of the things that I have learned is to not give up. It has not been easy and I have wanted to give up many times. Usually during the first week of classes of each semester I would look at all the assignments I had and would want to quit. Yet somehow they would all get done. I survived learning Greek and Hebrew even when I wanted to quit those classes. But as I look back I realize that if I had quit I would have never finished and earned my degree even if the finish line took longer than expected.

It was something I learned as a child growing up. I remember my parents telling me if I started a sport I was going to have to finish it. And I did even if I didn’t like the sport or the coach or if there was something else I wanted to do. I had to stick it through. I made a commitment and I was going to finish. But it taught me to not give up. (I realize there may be circumstances that may cause someone to have to quit. That is understandable).

I wanted to quit going to college before my senior year. I pleaded with God to let me quit or even to go to another school but it didn’t happen and I knew I had to go back to finish what I started. I am glad I did because if I didn’t I would not have met my wife (and I also wouldn’t have finished my degree). By getting my college degree I was able to go and do my master’s degree. I am thankful now that I did not quit.

Jim Valvano told the crowd that night that he planned on being back at the next years ESPY’s out the same award he had just received. He hoped to fight cancer and hoped to raise money to find a cure. However, eight weeks after his ESPY speech, Valvano passed away. Even though it has almost been twenty years since he gave that speech, many are still touched by it and can remember the words “Don’t give up, don’t ever give up.”

I know life is tough and there will be times when we will all be tempted to quit: Quit on marriage, or give up on your kids ever changing, or quit on your dream or even quit on life. But I would like to encourage you to stay on the path and continue the journey. I also want to encourage you with these words “don’t give up, don’t ever give up.”

Stop and Listen!

Do we listen? I mean really listen? We can hear the words that come out of a person’s mouth and recognize what they mean but it does not mean we really listen.

The biggest problem that we have is when we don’t listen to others we don’t learn about them or their beliefs or ideas. When that happens we become ignorant and those ignorant beliefs turn into ignorant comments that can be hurtful or mean.

Here are some examples: Have you ever talked to a person from a different religion to see what they believe? Not listen to what the media says, or read about a book about someone’s beliefs, or hear it from someone outside of that religious belief. Also, have you just listened to what they had to say without trying to change their views or argue with them about why they are wrong and you are right?

People talk all the time about Muslims but have you ever met a Muslim and talked to them and listened to them without trying to change them? One of the greatest memories I have from my master’s program is speaking to a Muslim leader of an after school program for youth. I did not try to “preach” to him or change his views but I listened. And you know what, I was inspired by him. I was inspired because instead of talking about or preaching about helping the poor he was doing it. He was making a difference in a downtown area that needed help. I was inspired by his devotion and his commitment. It did not mean I believed everything he said but there where principles I learned that stuck with me. (And no I did not preach to him and no his “blood will not be on my hands” like many people who abuse this verse to drive fear into people for not sharing their faith).

Here is another one. Have you ever talked to someone who said they were a Christian and Gay? I mean really listen to them and not try to come up with scripture or clever arguments to combat what they say. I have to say I haven’t but I would love to listen to what that individual had to say. Not what the media says, or a textbook says but listen to the words from an individual who has feelings and needs like any other human being.

(A side note: I wonder if the reason why people who consider themselves to be Christian and Gay don’t come to our churches goes beyond theological differences to that they won’t come because “Christians” treat them like lepers rather than people).

So here’s my challenge: Listen! You may not agree with everything another person says but at least you will know where that person is coming from. Maybe through listening it will open an opportunity for you to share what you believe and why. (And not fake listening just so you can share your views) It might not change a person but at least they will be more willing to listen to what you have to say.