A Messy Mother's Day

The Bible is a messy book. Sure we want it to be neat and clean but it is filled with accounts that excite us, enrage us, disgust us and can make us blush. It is filled with mystery, horror, deceit, lies and murder. While the authors give the accounts of righteous men and women they don’t hide the ugly side of God’s followers. So what does this have to do with Mother’s day? I’ll get to that in a moment but first what do many mother’s days look like?

 Mother’s day is a day to celebrate moms, to thank them for who they are and what they have done. We buy flowers, cards and candy. We take them to dinner or the movies. There may be 364 days (or 365 during a leap year) where we take mom for granted but not on this day. This day is all about mom.

Mother’s are also celebrated at church. They may receive flowers or a small gift from the church and may be recognized during the service. Kids make crafts for their mom that she can take home with her and cherish even if she is not sure what it is or what it has to do with mother’s day. The pastor, or speaker gives an inspiring sermon about the joys of being a mom, of having a mom,  the ways we can honor our mom or why kids and teens should obey their mom (wonder if the speaker gets money before hand from mom’s who ask them to include this in their message)? Proverbs 31 is a good text to use. Honor your father and mother is another.

And while many rejoice and celebrate the mom’s in his or her life there is another group that smiles and painfully sits through another Mother’s day service cringing when they hear the word mom. Or maybe its anger. Or maybe it’s the thought of what could have been or what could they have become. This is the messy side of mother’s day. It’s the part of mother’s day that gets lost in the midst of celebration and festivities. It is ones who pray that Monday will come quickly.

The Bible is full of messy accounts of those who would have hated mother’s day. Take Elizabeth for an example. Luke 1:6-7 "Both of them were righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord’s commands and decrees blamelessly. 7 But they were childless because Elizabeth was not able to conceive, and they were both very old." Two people who loved God, lived for him, served him in the temple and yet were not able to conceive. Where many had joy in children, Elizabeth had to endure the stares, the whispers and the questions. Why is God mad at her? Surely, if she would confess her sin God would give her a child? Maybe if she would pray harder or if she would fast. I glad I am not like Elizabeth. Maybe if see sowed seed into a ministry… (ok maybe not that last one but you never know).

I wonder how many times Elizabeth prayed. Not just quick prayers but deep prayers from the depths of her heart. I wonder how many lonely nights she had when her husband was away ministering at the temple and she would cry and plead with God to have a child. I wonder how many times her husband comforted her and he silently prayed silently with tears in his eyes “why God why?” I wonder how many times she gave up hope as year after year passed and still no child.

Elizabeth was not the only who would have hated mother’s day. Hannah was in a similar situation (see 1 Samuel 1). She could not have children either. She prayed at the temple and endured scorn from others. She prayed so hard the priests thought she was drunk. Her husband even asked if he was better than 10 children (just like a man to ask such a question). Yes she loved her husband but she wanted a child, she wanted to have a son or daughter. She wanted to watch him or her grow up and she wanted to tuck them into bed and dream of what he or she would grow up to be. Yes life was good but the one thing she wanted but did not have was to be known simply as mom.


If those stories aren’t depressing enough then let’s look at Matthew 2:16-18: When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. 17 Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled:

18 “A voice is heard in Ramah,
    weeping and great mourning,
Rachel weeping for her children
    and refusing to be comforted,
    because they are no more.”



Maybe someone just had a child or was dreaming of what their child was to become. Suddenly soldiers come knocking on the door. They ask how old their child is. He just turned one she says confused at the odd question. The solider grabs the son and leaves. The mother is horrified, crying, screaming “my baby, my baby.” She screams “what are you doing, where are you taking him.” And this joy given to her will be no more as she realizes that her child has been killed because of the crazy jealousy of a king who would do anything to hold onto his throne and his power. He was the true king and not some new child. He wanted the power and the glory of the kingship and nothing would stop him not even the screams of  moms who would lose their son or daughter. They didn’t want comfort they simply wanted to hold their child.

“Praying for female friends of mine who find Mother’s day a painful reminder.” Kara Powell

“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Romans 12:15.

A messy mother’s day means that we  take time to rejoice and celebrate mom. We celebrate the children they have and the joy they bring to their lives.

But a messy mother’s day means we mourn. We mourn with those who find no joy but only painful childhood memories. We mourn with those who grew up without mom whether she may have passed away, abandoned them or abused them. We mourn with those who recently lost mom. We mourn with those who have gone from foster home to foster home and wonder if they will ever be able to call someone mom. We mourn with the orphan.

We also mourn with the women who so desperately want a child, who beg and plead with God and yet for some reason has not happened. We mourn with the mom’s who have lost children, who feel like the mom’s of Israel that had their children ripped away from them long before they ever should have. We mourn with the mom’s who wonder on this day what their child may have been like if they did not have a miscarriage. We mourn with the mom’s who feel the guilt and shame because they chose to have an abortion (maybe if we stopped calling and referring to people who had abortions as murders that some may actually want to come to our “loving and accepting” churches).

So today take a moment and think about those who do not rejoice on this day but rather for those who mourn. Maybe take it a step further and come to their side. To come by their side and weep with them. To come by their side and listen to their story. To come by their side and offer God’s love, grace and mercy to wash away guilt. To come along side and plead to God on their behalf with tears. To come along side of them and mourn with those who mourn. This is what God’s love in action looks like. This is what a messy mother’s day looks like.